you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
