So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
