I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
