mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
