u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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