I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
