I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
