watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
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