Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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