I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
