i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
