this boner is exhausting
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
drinking out of a sandbucket again
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Randomize
