her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
