My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
