I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
