We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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