Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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