YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
