The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
