i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
FUCK WHALES
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
