Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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