So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
