I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I puked a lego.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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