He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
