ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize