Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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