I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
