Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
