This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
