he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
