Fuck appropriateness.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
