Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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