Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize