I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
