I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
