everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
