never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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