While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
