hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
