do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
