i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
