well you can't waste a boner
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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