can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
