we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize