I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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