We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just high enough for therapy.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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