she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
