so explain again why im purple
no
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
