I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
