Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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