So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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