At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
