We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
