i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think your dad took our porno
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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