i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
