I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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