I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
