im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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