the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
