kristin has been a bad kristin
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
