I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
