u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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