Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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