I accidentally had phone sex last night
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
How does one acquire holy water?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
