So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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