so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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