well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
