i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
