is your mom at the bar?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
