hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize