so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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