Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
