is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
It's just like the Real World with babies
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
